How Obama, Mitt Romney, the Republicans, and Pretty Much Everyone Else Is Screwing Up Health Care: Part 1

When it comes to political marketing gimmicks, Obama knows every trick in the bag. He may be one hell of a swindler, but with the way he sells his agenda, few of us would ever know it. He knows how to tug at our heartstrings. He knows how to touch our nerves. By the time he’s done delivering his presidential Sermon on the Mount, our face is drenched in tears, with tissues all over the floor. He is an insurmountable master of emotional manipulation – like that spoiled, prissy rich kid who knows how to push dear ol’ Daddy’s buttons and get him to buy her three ponies, five Chryslers, and a chinchilla every week. But instead of stomping his feet on the floor like a bull on steroids, throwing the antique China around, and shouting “Daddy, you hate me!” loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, our Commander in Chief shows his big shiny teeth, emphatically says “Now, let me be clear” a hundred different times, and hopes we’re about as moved by his tales of despair as we are by the wildebeest stampede scene from The Lion King. He’s one slick snake oils merchant.

So as his supporters were biting off fingers at town halls and sending union goons to beat up black dudes, our political Messiah in the White House – doing his best impression of a holier than thou crusader for justice – hoodwinked many of us into believing that his health care reform bill would part the oceans and turn fish into bread. And boy, did we ever fall for it!